L-7 Square.

i decided to dedicate this weekend to doing hw. i still can't believe it. lol. i feeel pretttty darn proud though :] goodnight.

happy birthday crystal :]

today was crystal's big 1-8! i baked her cupcakes =) hehe. afterschool martha, sandra, lily, and pheap came to my house so i could pack my things up for our first impreshuns photoshoot. i stuffed half of my closet in a bag! then we went to the office with sophanny and jenny to get ready and get the outfits together. it was a spring season theme photoshooot, i went for the 'hippie' look with a braided headband, a floral skirt, and my mustard color blouse. we got to the lighthouse around when the sun was setting so it was fucking colddddddd. especially with the outfits we had on. "im freezing my ass off..LITERALLY!" lol. i hope the pics came out looking nice since we kinda rushed thru mine because it was already dark and even COLDER. after 3 hrs, i was exhausted, hungry, and freeeezing so i left a bit before everybody else, went to jack in the box and killed that jumbo jack in like 5 mins. lol. now im at home laying with bed with the heater on about to call it a night! no bowling for crystals bday for me =( i don't have the energy to! im beaaatttt. im definetely not loooking foward to this weekend though. i have to get a shitload of homework done =/ 3 projects. this is what i get for procrastinating . whatta bitch!
=((((

school is some other shit! i got a lot of hw done today and managed to bake cupcakessss =) as well as deal with this lil fatass.

"YOU ARE SOOO ANNOYING!!!"

i'm soooooo tired.

busy day tomorrow!

i said burr, it's cold in here!

that line from bring it on was stuck in my head today?! lol
woke up late this morning, showered, got ready in like 15 mins! threw on whatever ..a top out the dryer which was still wet, black tights but a different color black from my top? and a black leather jacket with SANDALS. lol. thank god i took the jacket off right before i left cause i was lookin plain CONFUSED. school went by extremely slow because i had my 6th per today in which i was counting down the time till 2:47. met up with martha for a few minutes to talk about the photoshoot. walked home by myself =/ even though its only like 5 mins away. my phone was trippin too which made me scared cause there's always some pervs on the way home. none present today though.hehe. watched the tyra show =) it was about psychic identical twins. craaazy shit! because most of their predictions came true. and there's even a term for people who have that GUT FEELING instinct thing. i think that's me! lol. well ima call it a night!

i know, yeah you too.

today wasn't all that shabby, it being a Monday and all. we learned how to swing dance in 0 per so i was fully awake this morning. especially with david's ass picking me up and spinning me around and shit. freestyle! "WE GOT THISSSSSSS!!" LOL. that was the workout of the YEAR..i felt all icky afterwards. ewee. then in spanish class, i decided to volunteer our presentation first to set the standards high ;] and we ACED that shit like i knew we would! teeehee. lunch was wack it rained outta nowhere and my two favorite groupies were missing
;( hehehhe. 6th per. me kenny, pheap, joseph and david went to their house to play guitar hero. i ATTEMPTED to play but got booed =/
"hey guys, this morning i choked david and his ass fell back!"
"...."
"LAUGH BITCHES!!! LAUGH!!"
"HA HA. OMG I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING. WHAT A KNEE SLAPPER!"

fake bitches.
loool

time for homeworkk so i'll have my hands free later.
babysitter's club. lol

por supuesto!

i just got back from molyta's house. our spanish video presentation is hilarious! lol. it took us forever to make though. well for molyta to make. hehe. we love you! i think this is gonna be me and pheap's first A in that class! =D our spanish is horibble but the fact that we made a video makes up for it!

i really don't feel like going to school though! i have major cramps =/ and i don't feel like doing laundry or hw AND it's gonna rain tomorrow. whaaata bitch.

soulmates!

i woke up this morning from groupie #1 and groupie #2 blowing up my phone! hahahaha. grouppiee love <3
jk

i love you hoes!
hehe.

and i can see the heart on your sleeve and i know this shit is hard to believe.

this morning i ran around town with my brother. we went to the long beach store after driving all over 5th st looking for it cause he forgot where it was. i wanted to shop around too but i left home empty handed..well with just a smoothie :( then we went over to the eastside with my mom to buy food and stuff. and we just figured we forgot the bag of junk food in the cart or something cause my scary ass went straight to the car to avoid the homeless lady! lol. afterwards i went back to downtown with sophanny. we walked up and down 2nd st. it was kind of a bad day to go..PACKED AS FUCK. it wasn't even all that serious..people stood in long ass lines, like a whole block long, for some free yogurtland and shit?! and there were dogs everywhere! i was walkin around soo paranoid! lol. not even teeny weeny lil bitches but like beast looking type ones that were my just about my size! anyways. i got this mustard color blouse which is reeallly cute and these sunglasses sophanny picked out for me. im partially satisfied for now =)

lust for life.

i downloaded drake's whole so far gone album on limewire last night. =X lol i support the artist tho! hahah.

school was a bust like always. after i ran errands with Kenneth. lol. we went to my house to pick up some stuff, then to his house, then to the food court..which seems like a waste now that i think about it since we only went to get mcdonalds and there are a bajillion mcdonald resturants out there. lol anyways after we went to joseph's house so pheap can do my make up and what not :) hehe. after i went to the impreshun's meeting. i made the spots for modeling and writing for the magazine =] i was suprised but im preetty excited! i have to submit an article by friday and i have noooo clue whatsoever of what i wanna write about. im thinking of doing a fashion or beauty article. idkk i needa get on that.

hopefully shopping tomorrowwwwww. i haven't been shopping for the longesssttt. "look at what the recession got you doing!" lool. and me and pheap need to get molyta to tape our spanish video for us reanacting the tyra show about a girl whose had 50 boyfriends. lool. of course i gotta play the heartless hoe. HAHA. ughhh and im bloatedddd again =/ deja vu or whattt. i felt like this last friday! those double cheesburgers do no justice to my health! david told me i look fat. "great, now she went to go throw up in the bathroom" hahahhahahaa. bitttttcchhh! "that word is soo.. mean" "BITCH, BITCH, BITCH, YOUR A FUCKIN BITCH!"

:)

FISHLIPS.

loooool!
=/

Sunday Morning.

Off to the Salon to get my side bangs trimmed?
and maybe my nails done.



"i don't feel satisfied! oh well, i'll go get my nails done then."
lol. how sad is that.

Happy Valentine's Day!

My day consisted of going out to eat at Red Robin and just hanging out after. I notice how i always get the same thing when i go to restaurants like those; chicken strips, fries, and some type of strawberry drink. Is it me or maybe restaurants just need to step their game up, but then again i don't really like anything else. lol anywaaays, I was suprised with flowers&balloons! That, by the way, i was scared to bring home for my crazy ass over protective mom to see but she wasn't even home when i got dropped off & it all worked out =) hehe. And i came home to find my brother getting ready to go out on a date. and of course i was already steady hating on the girl. i was drilling him with questions.
"WHO IS SHE?!"
"WHAT'S HER NAME?"
"HOW'D YOU MEET HER?"

as well as

"THAT BITCH BETTER NOT BE UGLY!"
"YOU BETTER NOT BUY HER ANYTHING BECAUSE YOU NEVER BUY ME ANYTHING!!!"

looool. hater, i think so ;) so whaaaaat though, that's my big brother! and i'm not the only shallow one in the family either. so she's got a lot coming for her if she ever makes it to meeting us!

anyways its 11 p.m and i just signed onto aim to recieve an IM from sophanny telling me how shes scared to death cus her and her bf saw ghosts?!?!?!?! parnomia shit like that scares the living daylights out of me but yet i still like to watch scary movies and programs on tv but i've decided to cut down because i'd like to SLEEP well at night. i haaaaate that stuff! =( now i hope i don't keep thinking about it! i told her not to give me details but i keep asking questions. lol. NO MORE. and now when i had to go to my moms room to wake her up and tell her to pick up my dad, i had to turn on ALL the lights!! ugh =/

anyways The Perfect Man is on, so i'll just fall asleep to this =) plus my aunt is staying over and she's sleeping in my room with me so that'll make things better. hehe. i'm gonna call it a night.

"man, i promise she so self conscious."

lovey dovey.

of course i had to do some shit like that. hehehe. i thought it was funny.

<3less.

Afterschool i went to sophanny's house then we went to go get food and left to the Impreshun's Magazine auditions. my orignal idea was to be a journalist and write articles but when i got there i was asked to do modeling as well so i thought why the hell not. but then i had to take pictures and walk. i was not ready for any of itttttt. i wasn't expecting that at all. who knew how much of an insecure bitch i can be! it wasn't all that bad though. a good experience. now im home and my mom cussed me out (literally, droppin f bombs and shittt) and is on my CASE. WTFFFFF. im not in the MOOD for any of this bullshit. but i need money for tomorrow =/ ughhhhhh. i can't wait to leeeeeeeave!

i ain't saying she a GOLDIGGER!

but she ain't messing with no BROOOOOKE niggas.
teehee.

xxmel: my valentine looks like you
xxmel: or he could
cu: hahahhaahahahahaha
cu: is that a pick up line?
xxmel: no
xxmel: bitch
cu: well i already have a valentine
cu: sorry
cu: hahahahahahahahhahaha
cu: are you trying to use me so i could buy you something?
xxmel: OMG i was not tryna "pick you up"
cu: money is short right now okay. i just got a ticket




-bet you never heard that one! im a natural! loooool.

nails filed, hair styled, make up made.

i like cloudy cold weather but i hate when its windy and rainy. the wind is blowing everything around outside making loud noises and it's kinda scarrrryyy. im at home with grams but it feels like im home alone. im glad not to be at schoooool though. i feel like baking cupcakessss since i only ate one the last time i baked. i did a goood job too! i need new black nailpolish. it's getting all chippy and the one i have now is nasty and old. i need new make up too. im running low on mineral foundation. and i want that new extending mascara as well as a bigger make up bag. speaking of make up im gonna start drinking more water! i don't know how many times i've said that and went on my lil water strikes but i mean it this time! lol. and i want organic pinapple juice since jovanny says its good for the skin. idk where all of this is coming from. maybe it's cause im watching the tyra show. hehe. im gonna youtube those make up tutorials and all the tyra shows i've missed ever since school started and i haven't had time to watch. it's so boring at home but i somehow always find a way to keep myself occupied. lol


--& i'm just yappin outta my ass with this blog. teehee.

excuse me if i'm on one.

"I swear to you every time I sees, her I seizure. Keep running through my mind, jog my memory's amnesia... she always runnin' back to me sayin he's a dog off the leash, he got this other girl alica.

she tell me she's in hell, i tell her take a breather. i'm nothing like your man but i can't love you neither."

Lazy Sunday.

I woke up around 10 then went back to sleep cause there was really nothing to do that early. Then mommy woke me up around 12. I absolutely hate it when people wake me up. lol. Now im waiting on my Pho. I'm soooo glad i don't have school tomorrow :)



------------LATER ON.

I can't believe how LAZY i've been today. I got back in bed after i ate then went grocery shopping with Mommy, stocked up on some junk food, and finally got a caramel apple!! I was on the search for one during Winter Break at Disneyland but i couldn't find one and i swear i've been craving it in the back of my head ever since. lol. Im still waiting to eat it cause i just had 6 spring rolls. hehe. I've been eating like a pig lately! Like how last night my brother got taco's for me and pheap..2 for her, 4 for me. LOL. Oh and after grocery shopping i went BACK to sleep for a couple of hours. When i woke up it was alll dark and i was confused like a motherfucker. lol i had to think of what day it was and what time it was since i took the clock down in my room but can't reach to put it back up =( Oh! and while i was waiting in the car for my mom earlier today i was messing with my phone and i FINALLY learned how to set a customize ringtone! I've been wanting to learn how to for a while now and i kept forgetting to ask Joseph how. Man, i'm a genius. teeeeeheeee. Now im watching the E! Grammy Red Carpet thing..and the latest scoop is Chris Brown got into an altercation with an "unidentified woman"?! And now he AND Rihanna are no-shows. hmmmmm. fishyyyyy fishyyy. Somebody got the back hand..the YOUKNOWWHAT. hahaha. im gonna go wait for the Grammy's to come on and my stomach to get UN-full so i can eat that caramel appleeeeeeeee!

As emo as it sounds

i miss how things, in general, used to be.

lol.

BELLY DO'S!

teeeheee. cupcakes for sophanny! it was my first time baking cupcakes since i usually do brownies but they turned out preeeetty darn goood. betty crocker or whaaaaaattt. lol. i didn't taste one myself but everybody else who did liked them :)

PHEAPSTERRRRR came over.

Happy 17th Sophanny!

Last night at Spectrum. No more pics because we weren't so photogenic that night, at least i wasn't! MISSION FAILED though, you know what i mean Denise, AND Stephany!. loool.

I had fun yesterday though despite my bad hair day and the ugly weather. lol. We interviewed rushee's for xi. "HELL NAY!" ahahaha. i chilled at school for a bit to kill time then denise came over to get ready.

I need to go get ready now, Birthday Girl's houseeeeee.

Dr3aMin: YuPPP..I believe dat..I do..
Dr3aMin: When dat day come...imma cry
xxmel: i really do too.
xxmel: hahahhaha
Dr3aMin: Lol
xxmel: ima call you and be like see denise i told you!
Dr3aMin: And imma be like yes you did girl, and he got a little brother
xxmel: hahahahahh
xxmel: and you know ima be ON IT


teeeheee.
she's craaaaazy. gotta love her tho :)

Aim kills. i WAS doing my art hw..
lol.

school was actually entertaining today. at least lunch kinda was. xi girls... lol.
denise mentioned the lack of pictures of my blog so pictures will be coming soooooooon ;]
now back to painting for art class.

karma.

A taste of my own medicine!

my day didn't start off all that great. you can avoid something for only so long. ehh =/

anywaaaaays.

brushed it off.

at lunchtime there was a scavenger hunt for the new rushees. the girls were assigned to certain areas around school, like a lil stop the rushees had to meet at to pick up the next clue. we were up at the 3rd floor. standing up at the top, HOT and HUNGRY we decided to have a little fun! so we thought of things the girls can do in order to get their pink slips..like reciting the alphabet, running a lap around the building in 45 seconds. hehehe. we were too lazy to record it though. lol. afterschool i went to mcdonalds with kenny. you know you're hungry when you think of what you're gonna order before your even there..more like when your on your way to the car. LOL. i killed those 2 snackwraps and burger in a quick second!
"can i get a small fry"
"oh, so what, you only want ONE"
"if i was working there, i would only give you ONE SMALL FRY"
hahahahhaha. thank god i DON'T have a job.

me and pheap did the usual after..came to my house and watched A Haunting. that shit freaks me out but i can't stop watching ittttt! lol. we ended up taking a nap after we told eachother not to sleep. the bitch was scared to stay up by herself and watch it. lool. i woke up after her LOUD ass phone went off..which she never hears herself. then she went home and i tried to go back to sleep but instead i watched the tyra show it was about mama's boys today. now im stuck TRYING to do my homework but i swear im about to fall asleeeeeeeep.

Just a lil venting.

Sometimes when you first meet somebody, you want to think their intentions are good, you want to think that what will come out of all of this is something that you want, something that you've been waiting for. You start to like what you see and as any human being with feelings would normally do, you start to get your hopes up and think ahead of what'll happen in the future. You find yourself at first, just going with the flow of things then slowly working your way into the next step. Then as time passes by and the whole situation isn't turning out to be what you wanted/expected it to be because the person misleads you and has you fooled. You then become let down and dissapointed. You put some of your time and patience into this but in return, you get nothing. The only effort being put forth was your very own. And that gets you nowhere.

During the time, you didn't realize how much you were doing but after everything is all said and done, and it's over you begin to realize how much you would have been willing to put into all of it. But it was all you. That makes you wonder why things didn't work out, because you did everything you thought was right but in the end, as they say, It Takes Two. But not only that, people change. In a matter of time, too. Maybe you weren't even fooled. You had an idea of that person for who they were but as time came, their personality changed. They might have been a good person when you met them but their surroundings and their inner circle has an influence on who they are; good or bad. People change for the worst sometimes so you have to understand that you can't blame it on yourself, you did everything you could, everything you thought was right. Although they could really be a genuinely good person, it's just that they're showing a side that you didn't expect. So in the end, even if you feel like you don't have closure, you can say you tried. And you can't go wrong with that.

It's hard accepting the facts and coming into terms with reality but it has to be done. You can bitch and moan about the past, it's happened already and sadly, no matter how discontent you are with the situation, you can't change it. It's no longer in your hands, you no longer have a say in things anymore. You can't make things better because you can only help yourself and you weren't the problem so the main thing that needs to change is the other person and if they aren't willing to then so be it. Most importantly, your feelings played a role in all of this and that's the only thing that upsets you because there is a lack of sympathy&feelings from the other side. So you took the time to even care for nothing. But on a brighter note, this leaves you a lot to offer, offer to somebody that is the least bit worthy of you. You deserve better but for that to happen you have to allow yourself to see better by letting go of something that wasn't meant to be. Open yourself up to others even if you are afraid that the same thing will happen. Not all guys/girls are the same but the only thing that distinguishes themselves from the others are their actions, which most fail to do.

With all this said, you're meant to go through all the bullshit in order to get what you deserve. You work hard, play harder. A part of life, basically.





----Nothing too personal. Just my take on things.